Photon God Awards: Fun Fun Fun Fest 2010 Edition

Ah, the music festival. The true test of a music lover. I’m of the opinion that you aren’t truly a fan of music until you have endured the energy-depleting and wallet-emptying hijinks of a good music festival. When I attended last year’s Fun Fun Fun Fest, I was introduced to the concept of waiting in crowds two hours in advance just to get a good spot close to the stage for a certain band. I almost blew my brains out just standing there for two hours listening to people talk about who knows what. I won’t lie, it can be pretty tough. Some people alleviate this painful bore with alcohol or drugs, but I played it clean and therefore was conscious of every passing second and grew to hate each second that the band I was there to see was not playing in. It’s fun. Totally.
(Photo: Mary Rehak)
This year’s Fun Fun Fun Fest was quite the experience for me. Beyond the fact that I was attending as a member of the press for the first time, I think that I had a better festival experience than I did at least year’s fest. For starters, it didn’t rain. That made my experience last year quite frustrating. Instead, this year’s festival was plagued with dust clouds. I saw people left and right coughing or wearing bandanas over their noses and mouths. I think I even saw a guy get taken away in a stretcher, but that may have been for another reason. Like last year, I’m going to give out ‘awards’ for various achievements and happenings that I witnessed during the festival. Hello and welcome to the 2010 Photon God Awards: Fun Fun Fun Fest 2010 Edition!

The “pulled out of the Fun Fun Fun Fest’s founders’ asses at the 11th hour” Award: Descendents
Best Performance: Descendents. Best Song: “Suburban Home” 1st Runner-Up:Jeff the Brotherhood Best Song: “Bone Jam” 2nd Runner-Up: Monotonix Best Song: I didn’t really pay attention to which songs they played, I was too busy making sure I didn’t get my head kicked in.
3rd Runner-Up: Cap’n Jazz
Best Non-Festival Set: Joan of Arc at the Mohawk.
The Robin Hood of Weed Award: Nathan Williams, for presenting an audience member with a blunt before Wavves‘ set.
Best sentence I overheard: “I’m gonna pee all over myself! Damn water moccasins…” – guy walking into the port-o-potty next to mine.
Best opening line to a band’s set: “Hi, we’re from here not the woods.” – Andy Burr of Woven Bones
Coolest view from Backstage: Delorean‘s smoke-filled stage
Nicest Person: Haggai Ferschtman of Monotonix
1st Runner-Up: Allen Chen of Austinist
Most Evil Person: Guy in beverage line backstage who I heard planning to tackle the Media tent in the name of possible free pizza.
The “Destruction: Business As Usual” Award: GWAAARR. It’s like watching the Rock-A-Fire Explosion if they played metal.
The “Play into Bad Religion’s timeslot and piss off their manager” Award: GWAAARR
Longest Soundcheck EVER: Bad Religion
Shittiest Soundguy: Bad Religion‘s set
The “Spirit Fingers” Award: Greg Graffin’s hand motions.
The “I got there for the last 45 seconds” Award: MGMT
The “I’m a dumbass and now everyone knows that” Award: The punker kids who jumped the backstage fence and were quickly tackled to the ground by both attending media people and Austinist employees.
Crowd Participation Award: Peelander-Z
1st Runner-Up: Tim Kinsella, for using the photographers as a bridge to get to the audience who later held up his mic stand while he leaned against it to sing.
Best bass solo while hanging from the top of the stage by your legs Award: Peelander Red
The “Jimi Hendrix’s all-white rhythm section, Stevie Wonder’s piano playing, and Curtis Mayfield’s funk, soul, and looks all rolled up into one” Award: Toro y Moi
The “Damn, they’re here” Award: Cults, for coming so far in so little time.
The “I thought they were Fleetwood Mac for a second” Award: Cults
The “drooooooooooolllll” Award: Bethany Cosentino of Best Coast. (heels!? :faints:)
Hottest Woman Ever To Smoke An Audience Member-Presented Joint: Bethany Cosentino of Best Coast
The “It was fun while it lasted” Award: Deakin, for having his set shut down by the police.
The “I Keep Seeing This Guy EVERYWHERE” Award: Nathan Williams of Wavves
1st Runner-Up: Bradford Cox of Deerhunter
2nd Runner-Up: Andy from Woven Bones
Shittiest Hair-Cut of the Festival: Bill Kelliher of Mastodon
Best Interview of the Festival: Jeff the Brotherhood
The “I’m still kicking myself for not going” Award: Cowabunga Babes at Beerland.

That’s all I could think of, but I hope you have enjoyed the annual Photon God Awards! Next time I promise to have them up before three weeks pass.

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